Cheeky Possum is a very small organisation with very firm opinions. It operates nightly from a veranda in Fairfield, Brisbane, and maintains a modest international presence via video call. The management consists of two brushtail possums. Administrative support is provided by a human who wakes at 4:30 a.m. and is frequently reminded that catering standards must be maintained.
Alice
the small, friendly one
Alice is the smaller of the two and by far the more confident. She will approach a human directly and, on a good morning, take a carrot chunk straight from an outstretched hand. She regards this not as a trick but as the baseline expectation of a functioning service.
- Portfolio
- Human relations, direct carrot collection, international correspondence
- Manner
- Warm, insistent, persuasive
- Standard
- Hand delivery preferred; basket delivery tolerated
- Signature move
- Waiting by the food basket looking meaningfully at the door
Oscar
cautious; dines at distance
Oscar is larger and considerably more suspicious. He will come to the food basket, remove a single carrot chunk, and carry it exactly two metres away to eat — then return for the next. He does not negotiate at the basket and he does not eat where he can be watched.
- Portfolio
- Security, perimeter, off-site catering
- Manner
- Watchful; investigative; unconvinced
- Policy
- Strict two-metre dining perimeter, no exceptions
- Signature move
- Grab, retreat, assess, repeat
How they came to have a website
It began as a joke. Their friends in England — who join early-morning Brisbane video calls that are, for them, evening ones — adopted the two possums as mascots. As part of the fun, the possums were declared to have email addresses: alice@cheekypossum.au and oscar@cheekypossum.au. Then the domain was registered. Then the addresses were made real. This website is simply the next, entirely logical step.
The Human Liaison Officer
All catering, correspondence and technical work is carried out by a human of no fixed authority. He wakes at 4:30 a.m., stocks the basket, forwards the meeting invitations, writes the replies, and is routinely blamed for any interruption to service. He is not authorised to speak on behalf of management. He does so constantly.